NCC helps build bridge between father and daughter |10 September 2015

It is a known fact that a lack of communication between members of the same family can lead to conflict within the family and even to other more serious social problems.

Maybe we do not realise that we too often take family communication for granted. Or, we tend to believe that communication is only talking, especially when the children have passed the infant stage. When was the last time you for example got involved in a game or other playing activity with other members of your family? In many instances, we do not even recall when.

Domestic violence, especially violence against women can be a direct consequence of lack of family communication. This is why the National Council for Children (NCC) has decided to bring together a group of fathers and their daughters, in an interactive workshop aiming at encouraging a better relationship between fathers and daughters.

But why only promote interaction between the father and daughter, and not among other members of the family?

Ruby Pardiwalla, director of NCC explains: “Of course there should be good communication among all the family members. However, when there is a good relationship between a father and her daughter, there is a greater chance that the father knows how to treat other women. All starts at home, and as a man, the father can consequently treat other women more as his daughters and sisters,” Miss Pardiwalla says.

The workshop, which was held yesterday afternoon at the Seychelles Trading Company (STC) conference room, was conducted by a group of educators from the NCC, under the direction of Lee Giordano who comes from an American organisation named ‘Men Stopping Violence’.

Mr Giordano explains that as his organisation runs a programme aimed at stopping violence against women, with a daughter’s component as part of the campaign, he has had the opportunity to share his experience here.

The programme helps build a bridge between a father and her daughter. This is done through a combination of discussions and fun activities including games, which are however based on core values which will improve not only the father/daughter relationship, but also relationships with other people. The values  include communication including listening, discussions and experience sharing, shared decision-making, working together, awareness of surrounding physical and mental space, appreciation of the others’ qualities, mutual understanding and not criticising the other.

At the end of the session, the daughters and fathers had physically and symbolically built a bridge out of newspapers. But the general feeling was that an emotional bridge had really been built between them. Both were in agreement that the best bridge will be built by letting the daughter share her ideas and encouraging a form of participative family management. They also agreed to manage the bridge, as it is not always easy in terms of what the daughter and father wants.

“The workshop was good for my father, as he is sometimes too strict and does not always show patience towards me,” one daughter commented.

Another welcomed the activity as an opportunity to rediscover his father: “This does not always happen at home as daddy is always busy,” said the young girl.

Generally, the daughter now also feels more secure as her father on his side showed that he is willing to support and protect her.

Ultimately those who took part feel that the exercise will strengthen their family through better communication, whereby girls will feel free to talk about anything not only to their mother, but also to their father.