How to bounce back after a devastating defeat? |10 October 2019

How do you feel after a disappointing loss? Are you devastated when you lose no matter how well you have played?

Coping with a loss can be tricky waters to navigate. Many athletes are not satisfied unless they win.

Unfortunately, several factors are outside of your control that contribute to winning. If you are only satisfied when you win, you will be on an emotional roller coaster throughout your athletic career.

If you do not have full control over winning, what exactly can you control in sports?

There are two things that you can control – focus and effort – and those two aspects directly impact satisfaction. The more effort and focus you exert in training, practices and competition, the more satisfaction you will experience.

Notwithstanding, losing is still painful but it is lessened when you know you gave it all you got.

A young Seychellois athlete once said: "We did the best we could, and sometimes things happen, we’ve got to accept that and move on. Obviously, we're not going to say we're content, because the ultimate goal was to win and going forward in the competition. But we just have to accept it and understand that we did the best we could and be able to sleep at night knowing that.''

Young athletes, at the end of the day you need to be able to look in the mirror and be satisfied with how you performed. Ultimately, your opinion is the only one that matters... Not your coach’s opinion, not your parents’, not the spectators’ and not the media. Being satisfied with your performance should not be measured in wins and losses, best times or beating a particular opponent.  

Being satisfied with your performance is a matter of looking inward and objectively answering two questions:

1. Did I give my best effort given the circumstances?
2. Did I focus the best I could in that competitive circumstance?

If you answer yes to these questions and you are satisfied with your effort and focus, then you will be able to live with the results and feel content with your performance.

These two questions should also be asked after each practice or training session.  This will allow you to bounce back after a bad practice, get back on track quickly and add to your overall satisfaction with your season.

How to assess your game?

One strategy to assess your performance is to create a performance log.

After each practice or competition, rate your level of effort from 1-10 and your level of focus from 1-10.

Include any thoughts you have about how you performed, such as things you did well or things you should work on in the future. The key is to answer each question objectively but not be self-critical of your game.

Set small practice goals for what you want to improve in the next week of practice.

Hopefully, my advice will help young athletes who suffer terrible defeats to bounce back and prepare for the next completion.

Maurice Denys

Certified Mental Coach (CMC)

S.N.H.S. Dip (Sports Psychology)

S.N.H.S. Dip (Life Coaching)