International Day of Families: A chat with the Etienne family: |16 May 2020
The Etienne family
‘This year is a wake-up call for families to live our spiritual life together and not in separate ways’
Yesterday, Friday May 15, the world celebrated the International Day of Families. The Day was proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 1993 and reflects the importance the international community attaches to families. The International Day provides an opportunity to promote awareness of issues relating to families and to increase knowledge of the social, economic and demographic processes affecting families. In Seychelles, the society is evolving like elsewhere but sometimes the family unit is being adversely affected. Seychelles NATION contacted the Etienne family from Glacis for a chat about ‘family’ in general.
Seychelles NATION: How would you describe your family?
Odile Etienne: We are a small family of four who lives a simple but comfortable life although our surrounding environment is not a pleasant one. We are currently residing at Glacis. Over the years our family has grown to be increasingly closer to each other and to God as well. I am Odile Etienne the mother and I am a primary school teacher by profession. My husband, Alex Etienne, is currently self-employed and very hardworking. Like I always say whenever I get a good opportunity: “My husband is a father with a heart for his family. Our wellbeing is his priority and that is something I love about him.” We have a 9-year-old daughter, Odelia Etienne, and a 5-year-old son, Deanio Etienne. So far the children love schooling and their performances are very good and very promising as well. We try our best to give them all the support they need to get along with their studies and we often talk to them about the importance of studying hard for a bright future. I also wish to say that we live a healthy spiritual life together as a family and this is what keeps us going and binds us together in a strong way. Apart from work we devote ourselves to the Chemin Neuf Community which is a Roman Catholic Community with an Ecumenical vocation. Chemin Neuf has different missions for couples, families, celibates, men and women as well as youth. We are part of the leading team for one mission known as CANA FRATERNITY. Our engagement with this mission started way back in 2009. Then we are also engaged in a second mission known as ‘Communion of Chemin Neuf’. This mission allows us to pray, work and evangelise with the Chemin Neuf community. These are the only kind of activities that we engage ourselves into and which our children are being led to follow as well. As parents we value the saying in the Bible which reads “Teach the children in the way that they should live so that when they are older they will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22v 6). At home whatever we do as parents we always keep in mind that our children is learning from us, their first teachers. We are the ones to set most examples for them. I believe that this is the key towards raising strong young men and women who will eventually shape good families tomorrow and a good society as well.
Seychelles NATION: In 2020 what is the importance of the family?
Odile Etienne: This year in 2020, I think the outbreak of COVID-19 is being used by GOD to force the world to relook at all the harm we have caused to family life itself for centuries, considering what it really meant to be like living in a family by God himself the Creator of families. The Almighty is obliging us to renew, revive, reconstruct or strengthen our families each in our own ways depending on whatever we were lacking.
To explain what I am trying to say further, let us just think about this: Before the outbreak, many families were living under the same roof but not as a family, yet they called themselves a family. There were barely any communication, sharing and support among them. So where was the LOVE? To me if love is not there with all its elements it is not a family.
I also believe that this year we are receiving a wake-up call as families to live our spiritual life together as a family but not separate ways. To have one belief and experience it together as there is no room for selfishness in a healthy family. The more things are being done together the closer we get to being a true family.
Considering all that is happening in the world, more than ever families should be One now. Husbands and wives should be highly supportive towards each other including their children to make it through the storm that COVID 19 has created.
Alex Etienne: In 2020 families need to get reconnected with the source of Love which is God himself. We need to do more of what God wants us to do rather than what the world out there wants us to do. Families who are hopeless or whoever feels the need to strengthen their families should be determined to seek the help and willing to admit they need the help as well. All available opportunities should be taken to educate families about what God expects from families for their own benefit.
Seychelles NATION: Do you think we are losing on having proper families in Seychelles?
Alex Etienne: Yes. Like I said before, families who have no relationship with God who is the source of all wellbeing is definitely not a proper family. Too many families are living a life of pure pleasure and enjoyment. The necessity to go to church as a family is of no interest or importance to them. God is the source of love, so where do they get the love from to take home if they want nothing to do with the Church of God which is referred to as the family of Christ.
It also saddens me a bit when I think of certain conditions that the society creates or allows for our youth to adapt to and develop their lifestyles. For instance certain laws are not firmly applied to ensure our men and women live a healthy sex life or one which is acceptable in the eye of our Creator.
Odile Etienne: I also say yes for many reasons. A family is not only having the physical representation of a mother, father and children under the same roof. What we make out of physical representation is also very important. It includes commitment, understanding, acceptance, tolerance and respect to make things work. For instance a so-called family whereby a mother prefers her partner over children and allowing them to endure abuse so as not to lose the partner is far from becoming a proper family.
I also believe that a family who does not practice or value the fruit of the Holy Spirit which is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22) simply cannot live a proper family life. Unfortunately nowadays in Seychelles many families lack these values and are faced with many issues which affect their family life. To make matters worse, some of our people think it is even normal to live without them.
To me the family is the cradle of life. It is where life begins and where life should be cared for. So what is life like without a proper family??. No wonder why we have so many social ills.
There is also a saying that says “A family that prays together stays together”; I strongly believe this is true because prayer is part of our daily life as a family and it has brought us a long way in our family life, especially through hard times. However many families live a “prayer-free life” and I think this is where they miss out on important elements for a proper family.
Seychelles NATION: During COVID-19 how did your family bond?
Odile Etienne: During the COVID-19, especially during the stay-home period, we had ample time to strengthen our communication as a family a bit more. We also spent quality time together as a couple and as a family and make use of the time to discuss our plans lengthily.
We definitely had time to pray more and do fun things together such as watch movies, engage in home schooling to a larger extent than usual, prepare breakfast together and enjoying it together, as well as try out pastries with the help of the kids. The kids seem to have enjoyed the presence of the whole family together.
Alex Etienne: We took decisions together and did every little thing together as we were on vacation at home for the first time.
Seychelles NATION: Do you think the increase in social ills in our society is a result of a fall-out in our family values?
Alex Etienne: Yes because if most families were based or grew from a strong and proper foundation we would not have that many issues today for such a small island state. A lot of young people end up in substance abuse nowadays because they were not properly cared for by their family to ensure they are on a right path. Many parents don’t care about what their children do; once they reach a certain age, they are set loose, allowed to go wherever they want, with whoever they want at whatever time they want. No rules are set at home to guide them until it is too late to redirect them.
Odile Etienne: Some parents teach their child all the wrong things without thinking of the consequences later on. Examples they set or curses they bring onto their families eventually affect their child’s life in ways that they themselves become victims and other society members as well. Many families miss out when they allow their kids to engage in serious activities which are not suited for their age just for money. For instance a lot of parents allow their underage daughters to start a relationship with grown men and even tolerate it within their home leading them to think they are fully grown adults when they are not. Moreover some are still attending school and lacking respect for teachers in the process or end up pregnant before ending their studies. Further along the way those relationships are often easily broken and many kids grow up without the presence of a father or mother.
Seychelles NATION: What is your wish for the International Day of Families?
Alex Etienne: I wish for all families to get closer to God and allow Him to lead our path. Let us knock, search and ask .The Lord is willing to give to us. I wish all families a happy day.
Odile Etienne: I wish for every house in Seychelles to have a prayerful person to pray for their family and influence others to value prayers just so that the Grace of God could reside in all the homes and work wonders in our families.
Vidya Gappy
