UP CLOSE … with Marie Georges, a mother slowly recovering from the suicide death of her son |29 April 2020

Ms Marie Georges

‘Unfortunately there is no button to press to return things as they were originally’

By Marie-Anne Lepathy

Her peaceful and happy family life was shattered to pieces 17 months ago when her 33-year-old son took his own life leaving her small family bewildered, in shock and disbelief with a thousand questions as to why he had committed such an act.

Today Marie Georges, mother to two sons and a daughter, as well as grandmother, is slowly and painfully piecing her life together after a series of counselling sessions, the opportunity to talk to other people who have gone through similar tragedies and constantly remembering the good things about her son.

When I learned of her plight through her counsellor Beryl Dodin, Ms Georges was eager to have another opportunity to talk about the tragedy that struck her family on that ill-fated day of November 26, 2018.

A long-time, experienced secondary school French language teacher, who started her career in 1977, Ms Georges was living content and happy with her small family comprising her son Sibert Benoit, grandson Sheldon and herself at Plaisance before tragedy struck.

Her son was a taxi driver and had a small boat as well and he was a fun loving, very caring and sensitive person.

Like always, the Sunday before the tragedy the small family was together enjoying what they usually do together – like the son taking his mum to the hypermarket and his young son out to eat before he was back home to prepare for his taxi trips later in the afternoon.

In the late evening things were normal as usual. Ms Georges recalled that after dinner she retired to watch her telenovela while her son remained downstairs smoking his last cigarette for the day before he too retired for the night.

The next morning the mother said she woke up as usual at 5am to prepare herself and the family’s breakfast before going to school. She said often her son woke up at around the same time because as a taxi driver based at the airport, he had to be ready to pick up clients from the early morning flights, so waking up early he helped his mother out.

But on that fatal morning he was not up so his mother believed he had either overslept or he had left for the airport much earlier. But not seeing him even after she had made breakfast for the three of them and set everything out on the table, she looked out through the window and saw his taxi still in the garage.

“’This is strange,’ I said to myself, ‘so he must still be sleeping then’,” Ms Georges wondered while she made her way to his quarters to find him.

As he never locked his bedroom door, it opened voluntarily when she pushed it and to her surprise she found only his young son Sheldon in the room. Asked about his father, the young boy who was in Secondary 1 then, said he did not know but what he could recall was that the night before they had come to bed together, his father was telling some anecdotes as usual before they said their prayers and settled down to sleep.

“I believe he waited for his son to fall asleep before going out to his storeroom,” said Ms Georges who found him there.

“It seems to me he had well prepared everything, tidied an old mattress in one corner of the room, drank whatever it was he drank before lying down quietly to sleep and never to wake up again,” the still shocked mother recounted.

When she found her son sleeping there she tried to wake him up, calling his name several times, but to no avail.

But deep down in her heart, the distraught mother was fighting her greatest fear.

“I had this chilling feeling that he was no more but at the same time I was fighting it with all my might and denying to accept that he was gone. His body was cold and even though I was trying to shout out for help no sound came out. I was like in a nightmare and praying that I could wake up any minute and everything would be all right but it was not to be as everything was real,” Ms Georges recalled.

She dashed back into the house bewildered but talked calmly to her grandson, telling him that his dad was not well, that he should not worry but to go and have his breakfast while she took care of things.

In tears, Ms Georges rushed out of the house again and back to the garage to try and wake her son once more. Choking on her tears, she observed that his face was calm and peaceful and he wore a nice smile. She called the ambulance and told the officers her son was unconscious and to come prepared to revive him even if deep inside she knew nothing would bring him back to life.

A mother who was still recovering from a nasty divorce after 32 years of marriage, Ms Georges was living with her son Sibert while her daughter was married and living abroad and her youngest son, a pilot, had two weeks before the tragedy taken a job abroad as well.

She cried her heart out all alone until the ambulance arrived.

In the meantime she had to inform some close family members but she affirmed that the most painful part was to inform her two other children who were far away from home.

With all that was happening around her – the arrival of the ambulance and the police, close family members – Ms Georges said she could not say a word as she continued to cry abundantly.

A promising life and future

Ms Georges said her suspicions of a suicide was confirmed when she found two letters that her late son had left. One was addressed to her and the other to his ex-girlfriend and mother to his son.

“The content of the letter addressed to me tore my heart to pieces because I was certain that my son had a promising life and future before him with his small business that was not doing bad, a young son, a doting mother and siblings … I always believed he could easily move on with his life but not end it abruptly,” Ms Georges said sadly.

She also found other personal belongings like his watch, a ring, his car keys, wallet … all placed in a familiar spot where they would easily be found.

She recalled that the autopsy result later also confirmed that he had ingested a very potent substance.

As a mother Ms Georges said what hit her the most was that she never had a single clue that emotionally her son was not ok.

“He gave nothing away, he cleverly kept everything from us and frankly I did not see the tragedy hovering above his head. Often I used to tease him, asking him why he did not go out with friends for a drink, to the disco… but he brushed that aside jokingly saying he will go when he is ready. But he rarely went out,” the mother recalled.

Overcoming her loss, pain and grief

Devastated by the tragedy, Ms George said the Ministry of Education was very supportive and gave her all the time she required to recover and piece her life bak together again. She admitted that in the beginning she was devastated, broken and could not eat, had lost a lot of weight and was not taking good care of her appearance. She followed numerous counselling sessions together with her grandson both individually and in groups.

She expresses heartfelt gratitude to counsellor Beryl Dodin whom she says has been very helpful and supportive throughout the first months of her ordeal.

“Since the tragedy my life has changed drastically; I live one day at a time and I find it difficult to plan ahead. One year later already and I still feel numb inside but I try my best to have control of my life and try step by step to put the tragedy behind me. It is not going to be easy but I try my best to be happy. My daughter has come back to live with me for some time and I am really grateful to her for that.”

She said at home there are constant reminders of her son and in spite of everything the family speaks about him in the present tense and includes him in its conversations and everything else it does.

“I gave away most of his personal belongings and changed the positions and the way different things were arranged in the house just to change the atmosphere a bit but I have kept his most personal belongings in a small case which in the beginning I opened every Sunday but now gradually I am skipping the Sundays until I believe I will stop opening it altogether,” said Ms Georges.

As for his grandson, Ms Georges said he was also devastated in the beginning but when his aunt arrived with her children, this has taken his mind off his troubles a lot and he is now much better.

Ms Georges said the tragedy has marked her forever and she knows that out there, there are other parents suffering the same fate.

“The pain of losing a child in this way is terrible but there is no button to press to return things as they were originally and you have to move on with your life no matter what. If you are a devout Christian and firm believer in God and His powers to heal, you will find grace and solace in prayers which will miraculously give you the strength you need to overcome the pain,” the mother said.

She is also very grateful to her family and relatives who have supported her all the way.

“Talking about and reliving the good things and wonderful moments about your child helps to relieve and dampen the pain,” Ms Georges said.

“It is always good to be around people who understand you and share in your sorrows and those who have also been through terrible losses. I know nothing will erase the painful moment I discovered my son’s lifeless body but life goes on and I have accepted what happened and I am doing my best to overcome my pain one day at a time,” she said.